we just had a near-life experience, fellas.

"go confidently in the direction of your dreams! live the life you've imagined."
-thoreau

the early morning sun warmed my back and battled the shadows cast by towering aspens. coat on. coat off. settling for unzipped, sleeves pushed up, revealing pale forearms. i walked marley down oak street. the sheridan opera house sign marking my right turn onto main street. marley has become accustomed to morning walks. our new yard is foreign territory. and although it is fenced in he refuses to venture out into it's rocky terrain. preferring the luxury and variety of smells he most certainly encounters around town. this is doggie central. and our trek to clark's market provides ample opportunity to mark new territory and sniff out new friends.

i pause on the return trip. sun filling in the features of my face. a cast. a welcomed warmth. bridal veil falls cascades from the far end of the canyon. the switch backs now visible after snow melt. coffee in hand, groceries on my back i catch my self in the moment. this is my life. this is my morning. there may be many more as peaceful and contented. and i feel guilty for this simple luxury. for claiming this for myself. and i spend the next block slogging off those negative thoughts. grace. it's a choice. a conscious decision. it is what it is. and this day is grand.

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for those of you who have managed to avoid the snares of facebook and myspace, i applaud you. for most of you, myself included, this system of networking has become a part of daily life. a necessity. a vice. but it's voyeuristic tendencies have provided insight and left me saddened at the resolve.

i settled back into telluride on a rainy sunday evening. pulling into the cradle of the box canyon, i peered out over the brown hillsides and bare trees. grey skies hung heavy over dark mountains. ominous clouds raining plump droplets on everything they veiled. this is home. and if i can love it now in it's most inclimate of weathers, i know i have chosen wisely. i was nervous for my return trip. afraid the town would be unrecognizable without its blanket of snow. without the familiar faces and embraces of the winter season. and this gloomy weather was perfect for my re-entry. matched my sullen mood. renewed refreshed. ready for another new beginning.

i woke early the next day. altitude change effects my sleeping patterns. walked the dog. fetched my coffee. perched in our perfect kitchen, reading the local paper and perusing my inbox. the facebook home page littered with monday morning complaints. rants about pressing workdays, anxiety for the far off weekend. working for five o' clocks and fridays. discontented. miserable, even. fifty-two days out of the year. seven plus weeks of droning and moaning. what a waste. what squandered living. what happened to joy? and hope? living life to the fullest?

"this is the day which the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
-psalm 118:24

i read a quote recently, that resonated with my spirit. encouraged my heart. and made me smile. "life is not measured by length, but intensity." (author unknown) it made me smile for all the reasons i find myself so comforted in this new environment. held between walls of rock and dirt. small in comparison to almost everything. inspired by the company i keep; adventurers to the core. happy to be alive. experiencing life. stepping out from behind that desk. bold. strong. trading the hamster wheel for unknown answers and questionable futures. but isn't everything one endless eroteme [?] control existing only as a tidy illusion. trapping us in our own fear and lack of trust?

"if you died right now, how would you feel about your life"
-tyler durden.

i sat in the emergency room dusted with glass and debris. tears broke the lines of dirt smeared across my cheeks. i was afraid. scared at the financial mess that lay before me. but looking back on the accident. on the moment the vehicle paused at the precipice. the moment my eyes met amanda's, across the center console. i was not fearful of my life. for the first time i was exactly where i wanted to be. content in the moment. {maybe not this particular situation} but the general aspects of my daily life. and i was glad know i had made bold decisions. that in that moment my death would not have left me with the emptiness and longing it would most likely have this time last year.

it has been almost one year since i made the big leap. trading in my eight to fives for an endless stretch of road, my camera and my dog. the gypsy life has had it's pot holes and pitfalls, but the rewards have been tenfold and spur me on towards bigger goals. intense. indeed.