colorado is why man invented the suv. and utah is why man invented the high-beam.

driving out of telluride, the sun slowly sinking behind the mountains. blue, to pale, to orange, to horizon. i had to pry myself from this town. convince myself to leave. there is more to see ahead. more adventures to be had. but it's nice to feel so comfortable. i haven't had that in a long while. my spirit resonates with the aspen and the creek. the trails and quaintly lined main street. eclectic shops. restaurants. outdoor provisions. friendly people. on a mission, but not busy. they are productive but not hurried. they all have places to be and jobs to do, but they are enjoying the to's and fro's of their day as well. no need for cars. bikes will do just fine in this summer weather. a nice walk, too. there's live music tonight. i want to stay but i'm afraid that i'll never leave, if i do. and i've got friends to see. off to utah.

the road winds through the mountains. the sky becoming black. broken by stars. the moon glows brightly. it's quiet and cool an i am guided by the lunar cast. the terrain changes and the air warms. the moon is now hidden bedind clouds. the sky is black. blackest black. i use my high beams to show the way. a few extra feet in front of me. animal eyes shine bright along the roadside. cows. horses. deer. finally lights on the horizon. moab in the distance. streets are busy with people. neon signs. flat road. a land locked myrtle beach. not what i expected. disappointed by its tourist draw. find a rest stop for the night. a family is camped out on the sidewalk. a line of sleeping bags in descending size order.
the air is warm and there is a cool breeze. i roll my sleeping pad out onto the cement picnic table and lay my head on my pillow. marley at my feet, keeping guard. keeping me safe. i sleep under the stars. i nthe desert. the warmth radiating off the half circle shelter enclosing the picnic table. i am warm. i am asleep.
i wake with the sun. the heat on my face. soft. warm. soothing. back on the road. marley's paws are worn. too many hikes. he needs a good rest. guard duty is doinghim in. and the coming heat will not be welcomed by him. colorado was much friendlier to furry creatures. so we drive past arches national park. the big hole. canyonlands. i climb up to an arch in the rock. the sun still low in the sky. orange rock against the truest blue. a sun salutation. i stretch. yoga on warm, solid surface. it calls for it. it is required. i am giddy at this height. this view. this morning. thank you, lord. i stretch and touch my toes. lower onto my stomach. arch my back. sun on my face. eyes closed. basking in the quiet of the morning. downward dog. feel the stretch in my calves. my hamstrings. back. arms. the hiking has agreed with me. i feel fresh and energetic. raise up. arms overhead. namaste.

and i don't know where i'm going, but i trust that your map has an end. and as i go the soundtrack lyrics remind me why i am on the road.

{what's on the radio. the ultimate travel-theme mix.}

1. Chasing Pavement - Adele
2. Don't Wait - Dashboard Confessional
3. Holding My Breath - Oddibe
4. Travel Song - Pilate
5. Move Along - All American Rejects
6. Gravel - Ani DiFranco
7. The Travelin' Song - The Avett Brothers
8. Great Escape - Guster
9. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
10. Driving Blind - Jay Clifford
11. One Big Holiday - My Morning Jacket
12. When Will You come Back Home - Ryan Adams

telluride, colorado: trade your remote for ours.

[Park and ride means something very different out here.]
[Happy place, found.]
[Yes, one can live life in a postcard.]

Telluride is a resort town. Glitz and glamor. Big time movie stars cruisin' the slopes. High dollar at high altitudes. But it's also a tiny town nestled in the crook of the most beautiful mountains I have seen thus far. I am a different person here. I am myself. I am walking the streets. I am at the library. I am at the grocery store. I am sleeping in a tent at the top of a ridge. My view from high above the quaint houses below. A recommendation from a man I met on the gondola ride up the slope. Their version of a commute. A free ride, an amazing view, completely dog friendly. The entire town is. I didn't realize how much I was missing out on Marley's full doggie potential. We are a team here. Hiking, playing running, window shopping. I think owning a dog in Telluride is a town requirement. An observation made by a couple I met from Chicago. They asked me for directions. One of three time people asked me for advice on places to go. apparently this place suits me. I look like I live here. And I gladly would. It's officially on my list. But there are more places to see and more mountains to climb. And I've got Mr. Conway's farm waiting for me in Boone. I've been emailing and talking with him and his director for the past three weeks. An opportunity for an internship. A year in the woods cooking over open fire. Long hours. Hard work. Marley can come, too. My heart is so torn now. New options present themselves. Resort photography in Telluride. Employee housing. Lord, where do you want me? I get it that I'm not a city girl. My heart resounds with small town living and towering trees. My anxiety levels skyrocket as I drive through busy city streets and open desert lands. I feel safe in the woods. Even alone on top of a mountain in Colorado. The closest person a quarter of a mile down the trail. I never knew this about me before. It's amazing what I have learned. Not at all that I was expecting. I still have no idea where I will be in the future. But I have options. And every day God is reminding me that my idea is never as great as His. Presenting me with new people and places. This is worth the gas prices. I will never forget these moments. Thank you Lord. Thank you for this itch.

do not attempt to adjust your television.

Great Sand Dune National Park. What can I say. It's incredible. A sixteen mile ride straight down a country road, peaks rising up in the distance. Larger and larger as you approach. Sand into Mountains in to sky. Colorado gets more beautiful with every mile. I park at the visitor center and walk around. Reading the information. Largest sand dunes in the United States. Created by blowing winds over many years. Pictures don't do it justice.
It's evening now. And the sun is getting low. The sand is cool. Safe for Marley. Safe for bare feet. Cool, gusty winds. Warm bathing sun. I am enveloped in it. I walk out to the dunes deciding just to photograph them from the ground. After a six mile hike with marley in Waldo Canyon that morning, we are tired. But the hills beckon us. We are half way up before we notice. The top is our goal now. Meeting people on the way up. Austin, Utah, California...I am far from home but feeling so safe and relaxed. We watch the sun set. Chilled by the breeze. Content at the sight. Our accomplishment is rewarded. We are on top of the world.

The fullness of your grace is here with me. The richness of your beauty is all I see. The brightness of your glory has arrived. In your presence, God, I'm completely satisfied.

We start for the car. sand sliding beneath our feet. Footprints trailing up towards us. Long shadows cast across open terrain. I have energy I didn't before. We run. Me chasing behind the marley dog. Bounding over ridges. Racing for the next peak. Jumping. Landing. Cushioned by the soft, cool grains of sand. A trickle of a stream awaits us at the bottom. Marley quenches his thirst. I stand in awe. Where have I been my whole life. This is living. This is the great outdoors. This is home. My heart is happy.

every time i close my eyes, it's you. and i know now who i am. and i know now.

i startled myself from sleep. too good. not real. you were so close. i could taste your breath. you were so close, i knew it wasn't real. you have always kept me at arms length. but your smile, i can still see it. all this time. all these miles. i can still see that first smile from across the table. the crooked charm that details the voice to follow. i was hooked long before i knew it. but i can't call you or write you because nothing that you say will be what i want to hear. and i have said too much to you.

i startled myself from sleep. warm tears ran down my cheeks. if it's not real, why does it still hurt?

don't be fooled.

jay clifford hold's a special place in my heart. his voice has so many of my years wrapped up in it. i love that about music.

wearing out a stretch of concrete, with a racing heartbeat. trading in my years for hours, with the gods and cowards. somewhere at the end of it where the road becomes a fence, she points into the infinite, into the radiance, and says, don't be fooled. don't be fooled by the real thing.

you have stolen my heart.

sometimes friends grow close over years of shared experiences.
other times friends form immediately, perhaps in an obstacle course.

i saw you today, sarah. as clear as if you were actually standing right in front of me. pink cheeks. ponytail. the slender point of your fingers; the gesture of a story. the sound of your voice. hey auds. hours talking in your car in front of my house. dashboard confessions long before chris carrabba would be a name to me. but the car pulled away. and it wasn't you. and i didn't realize how much i missed you until i thought you were here.
i miss you.

so, they say it's your birthday.

Happy Birthday Jenn!!!!
I miss you tons. Safe travels over seas. Find a cute bloke to buy you a birthday pint :)

all you need is love. and maybe four wheel drive.

bathed in steam. lifting off the water making its way towards orion. cold stone pressed against the length of me. but i'm warm from the inside out. chills spread across my skin in waves. like when finger tips graze my stomach. tiny. more delicate than goose bumps. clouds pass overhead and expose the blanket of stars. the moon dominating the night show. i can only imagine the true depth of the black obis. the breeze blows stronger. i lower myself into the bath. earth's bath water. heated from its core. strawberry fields hot spring. i am in love.

jieun took me to steamboat springs. three hours away. five different terrains. rain poured down as we packed up the car. weather says thirty percent chance in the mountains. we're risking it. it's worth it. drive through mountains. tunnels. snow capped here, now snow on the ground around us. another tunnel and it's arid ranch lands. i've crossed an entire country of terrain in only a few counties. mountains. mountains. mountains. i wanted to be in awe. and now i am breathless. i have never seen anything this remarkable. pumping gas, mountains rise on the horizon. clouds cast shadows on open plains. cows. horses. sky. everywhere there is sky.

pass through town. meander through neighborhoods. small houses. wood. easy to heat. cozy. cyclists race up hill. everyone in town is biking or walking. we find our turn. hot springs, buffalo pass. tatanka ranch. the sky is patchy clouds but the sun is holding its ground. saving us a place. road ends. gravel begins. my focus is a champ. down shift. we're cruising. winding up the steep grade through aspen groves. stark white shoots towards blue. leaves wave in the wind. confetti. two shades of green. under, over. waving in the breeze. hybrid camping. park at the bottom of the trail and hike up half a mile to the spot. four wheel drive would get us there. the focus, not so much. but she's happy parked under the aspen. and i'm happy to be hiking. heavy gear. deep breaths. fresh air. clean and crisp. feels like a charlotte november. tents are up. firewood collected. peanut butter and granny smith sandwiches.

we hit the trails. cattle trails. animals have worn the way. follow the tread through grass. beetles have made the green a beautiful red. it's sad because the trees are dead. but a striking contrast from a distance. we climb up. switch-backs. the marley dog bounding up ahead. pausing to see where we are behind him. charging back around us and up again. pushing past us on the trail. taking out our knees. he loves this. and i love watching him enjoy the open ground. no leash. wild abandon. just steer clear of the skunks. up higher. never quite at the top. always more ahead. gun fire. a pistol. we stop on a large rock protruding into the air. this will be our top. the gun shoots are louder and more frequent. shrapnel rains down around us. trees have been hit. we are in the line of fire. jieun suggests we leave. she turns to climb down off the rock, i'm one hundred yards down. i warned you about my stray bullet theory. this is precisely why. the bullets have to be going somewhere. unsuspecting passers-by. we manage unscathed.

back to town to get marshmellows. we're girls. give us a break. off to the hot springs. ten dollars. no glass. no alcohol. no running. bathing suits optional. the sun is almost down. that dusky haze mixes with the steam that starts to appear as the temperature begins to drop. fifties in town. colder now. paths weave through trees and around tepees. private pools off to the left. water runs from one into another, into another, down the slope. the path widens at the bottom. stone deck provides seating. log chairs. adirondack meets paul bunyan. the spring feeds into the first pool, the warmest. hot. over one hundred ten degrees. and surges of even hotter water pour into the far corner at intervals. there is a terrace effect. pools flow into one another. divided by rock walls. connected by paths and stone stairs. slippery. move slowly. the bottom is gravel. like an aquarium. and the water feels clean and refreshing. a sauna. a spa. natures bath. heated from the earth. i am in awe. i am in love. i am floating under a blanket of stars, noises muffled by the water lapping around my ears, brushing my hair against my shoulders. deep breath. take it all in. if colorado is god's country, this is the capitol.

god's country.

i went to omaha, nebraska in search of the answer to my question: what is it about this city that inspires so many songs? well, my cousin was correct in his assumption. there is absolutely nothing there. and people resort to music and song to stave off sheer bordom. but i got to see the world's largest truck stop. thank god for iowa and their amazing contribution to society. no offense, jen w. :) fields of corn bleed into acres of cow pastures. green until blue. white pillows of clouds. it's quite pretty, if not so redundant. denver was big. bigger than i imagined. football on the docket for thursday night. broncos vs. cowboys. thought about staying, but what fun would a game be without someone to heckle with. and i don't have a heart for either team. and no desire to see jessica. and mountains loomed of on the horizon. i want out of this car. i want to be on that mountain. colorado springs gave me a chance to exercise my camera and my legs. bounding trails, chasing behind the marley dog. breathtaking. shower. change. journal. watch the climbers. even more amazing in real life. never seen climbing in person outside of a gym. and ben and miccah were excited i knew about the whitewater center. although, who needs bottled wilderness when it's outside your...everything. marley has volunteered for night duty. he stays awake while i sleep and keeps guard of me. it's quite cute. and then he sleeps while i'm driving. it's a pretty fair trade off. he's lousy for conversation anyway and he has poor taste in music. coffee at a cafe and some reading. landed on jeuin ko's doorstep this afternoon. she's taking me on an adventure tomorrow. something about hiking and hotsprings and really cold sleeping. it's cold and rainy today. i kind of like it. fall is coming. my favorite. sorry kel. summer's gotta end sometime.