it's funny that way you can get used to the tears and the pain. what a child will believe.

it was difficult to press send. but i wanted to be the bigger person. a simple birthday wish. a one line greeting and a recycled photo attachment. the span of seven days and an entirely different feel.

i hiked palmyra peak last week. my goal of the season literaly looming overhead. accomplished with the aid of a deadline. intent on snagging a photo from the top to send to my silly friend who chose ohio over the rockies. if he can't be in the mountains the least i can do is send the mountains to him. so i paced myself with the gentlemen ahead of me. pausing for photos and to catch my breath. 13,000 feet does a number on the lungs.

the view from the top reached out in all directions. i captured the moment and skied to the bottom. i couldn't wait to share the blue skies and snow coveed peaks. i hoped he would enjoy the gesture.

now, one week later i am stalled in front of my computer screen. hesitant to acknowledge the date on the calendar. march 24th. my father's birthday. and while he has failed to recognize mine for the past few years, my sister's voice echoed in my head. make the effort. so i did. a little work in photoshop to erase the k-y-l-e from the felicitations, and the photo was set to go. afraid to put myself out there. was this more than he deserved? will he even acknowledge my effort? what will he think as he stares at the photo of his grown daughter perched atop the rockies? will he pause and take note of all that he has missed out on? will he be proud of me? will he even care?

i made it dad. i survived this life. i'm on top of the world.