This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath
No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again.
-regina spektor
Monday, June 29, 2009
sleeping to dream about you. and i'm so tired of having to live without you.
[no animals were harmed in the typing of this blog]
for the past four out of five weeks, i have been sick. and not just your annoying sniffling, sneezing, stuffy head, common cold. round one: walking pneumonia. round two: strep throat. i spent the entirety of yesterday in a fever induced sleep-state. delirious and dreaming. fun times, let me tell you. one of my coworkers commented that i might want to "tone down all the late night partying" in an effort to stay healthy. this is funny if you know me. in the past two months i have been out late three times. 1. ozomatli 2. david byrne 3. a random wednesday with sarah.
granted, i have been under the weather and unable to partake in a lot of the late night festivities. but when given the chance i usually lean towards something more laid back. i'm a dork. dinner parties rule over partying at the bars. long hikes over hangovers. don't get me wrong. i like to go out. but if there isn't a good band or plenty of dancing then i may feel just as contented in my pj's with a movie and the marley dog. cooking yummy food has become our greatest pastime here on oak street. and conquering the trails around town. last week i completed the wasatch trail all by my lonesome. with my trusty canine, of course! twelve miles. 2,700 vertical miles. bass ass. kicked my ass. on the most glorious of days, weather wise. and on a week long stretch of good health. ahhhh. good times.
my roomies are concerned my sudden stint of maladies may be due to my recent elimination of all animal related food-type-products. that is to say a vegan diet. except for honey. i haven't been able to give that up. but the dairy was a no brainer. milk = anaphylactic shock. and i didn't really eat that much meat or eggs in the first place. lots of green leafy veggies and tofu. whole grains and nuts. learned how to bake with out butter and eggs too! i made delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. you'd never know if i hadn't told you. i promise. mmmmmmm. although i highly doubt this is a contributing factor (especially since i got sick only two days in). it's more likely my body's failed attempt at acclimating from charlotte's hot and humid summer to the damp cold that persists. and a physical manifestation of emotional stresses. it's all good. i'm looking into supplements. omega3's, zinc, iron, and B12. the aussie's swear by their vegemite!
-here's to making a full recovery.
[potato rosti and tofu with fresh tomato and ginger sauce]
[vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies]
substitute 2tbs soy milk, 1tbs oil, 1tsp cornstarch for every egg. earth balance spread for butter. and i found delicious chips that are dairy and gluten free. just cocoa, cane sugar, and vanilla!
[butternut squash and apple soup recipe]
note: pairs well with rosemary foccia
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons unsalted butter (or substitute earth balance)
1 1/2 cups sliced leeks, white parts only
1 tablespoon minced garlic
6 cups peeled and roughly diced butternut squash
3 cups peeled and roughly diced apples
2 teaspoons Toasted Spice Rub, recipe follows
6 1/2 cups chicken stock or 2 (14 1/2-ounce) cans low-sodium chicken broth mixed with 3 cups water
Sea salt, preferably gray salt
Directions:
-Melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat, and cook until it turns nut brown. Add the leeks and cook until slightly softened, about 2 minutes. Add the garlic and saute briefly to release its fragrance.
-Add the squash and apples, raise the heat to high, and cook, stirring, until the vegetables begin to caramelize, about 5 minutes. Stir in the Toasted Spice Rub and cook briefly to toast it, about 1 minute.
-Add the stock or broth-water mixture, bring to a simmer, and partially cover. Adjust the heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the squash and apples are tender, about 40 minutes.
-Transfer in batches to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Return to the pot, reheat to serving temperature, and season with salt.
-Divide the soup among warmed bowls and garnish each portion with some of the walnuts, if using. Serve immediately.
Toasted Spice Rub:
1/4 cup fennel seeds
1 tablespoon coriander seeds
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1 1/2 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 cup pure California chili powder (about 1-ounce)
2 tablespoons kosher salt
2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
In a small heavy pan over medium heat, combine the fennel seeds, coriander seeds, and peppercorns. When the fennel turns light brown, work quickly. Turn on the exhaust fan, add the red pepper flakes, and toss, toss, toss, always under the fan. [or else you'll burn your lungs off...no joke] Immediately turn the spice mixture out onto a plate to cool. Put in a blender with the chili powder, salt, and cinnamon and blend until the spices are evenly ground. If you have a small spice mill or a coffee grinder dedicated to grinding spices, grind only the fennel, coriander, pepper, and chili flakes. Pour into a bowl and toss with the remaining ingredients.
for the past four out of five weeks, i have been sick. and not just your annoying sniffling, sneezing, stuffy head, common cold. round one: walking pneumonia. round two: strep throat. i spent the entirety of yesterday in a fever induced sleep-state. delirious and dreaming. fun times, let me tell you. one of my coworkers commented that i might want to "tone down all the late night partying" in an effort to stay healthy. this is funny if you know me. in the past two months i have been out late three times. 1. ozomatli 2. david byrne 3. a random wednesday with sarah.
granted, i have been under the weather and unable to partake in a lot of the late night festivities. but when given the chance i usually lean towards something more laid back. i'm a dork. dinner parties rule over partying at the bars. long hikes over hangovers. don't get me wrong. i like to go out. but if there isn't a good band or plenty of dancing then i may feel just as contented in my pj's with a movie and the marley dog. cooking yummy food has become our greatest pastime here on oak street. and conquering the trails around town. last week i completed the wasatch trail all by my lonesome. with my trusty canine, of course! twelve miles. 2,700 vertical miles. bass ass. kicked my ass. on the most glorious of days, weather wise. and on a week long stretch of good health. ahhhh. good times.
my roomies are concerned my sudden stint of maladies may be due to my recent elimination of all animal related food-type-products. that is to say a vegan diet. except for honey. i haven't been able to give that up. but the dairy was a no brainer. milk = anaphylactic shock. and i didn't really eat that much meat or eggs in the first place. lots of green leafy veggies and tofu. whole grains and nuts. learned how to bake with out butter and eggs too! i made delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. you'd never know if i hadn't told you. i promise. mmmmmmm. although i highly doubt this is a contributing factor (especially since i got sick only two days in). it's more likely my body's failed attempt at acclimating from charlotte's hot and humid summer to the damp cold that persists. and a physical manifestation of emotional stresses. it's all good. i'm looking into supplements. omega3's, zinc, iron, and B12. the aussie's swear by their vegemite!
-here's to making a full recovery.
[potato rosti and tofu with fresh tomato and ginger sauce]
[vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies]
substitute 2tbs soy milk, 1tbs oil, 1tsp cornstarch for every egg. earth balance spread for butter. and i found delicious chips that are dairy and gluten free. just cocoa, cane sugar, and vanilla!
[butternut squash and apple soup recipe]
note: pairs well with rosemary foccia
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons unsalted butter (or substitute earth balance)
1 1/2 cups sliced leeks, white parts only
1 tablespoon minced garlic
6 cups peeled and roughly diced butternut squash
3 cups peeled and roughly diced apples
2 teaspoons Toasted Spice Rub, recipe follows
6 1/2 cups chicken stock or 2 (14 1/2-ounce) cans low-sodium chicken broth mixed with 3 cups water
Sea salt, preferably gray salt
Directions:
-Melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat, and cook until it turns nut brown. Add the leeks and cook until slightly softened, about 2 minutes. Add the garlic and saute briefly to release its fragrance.
-Add the squash and apples, raise the heat to high, and cook, stirring, until the vegetables begin to caramelize, about 5 minutes. Stir in the Toasted Spice Rub and cook briefly to toast it, about 1 minute.
-Add the stock or broth-water mixture, bring to a simmer, and partially cover. Adjust the heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the squash and apples are tender, about 40 minutes.
-Transfer in batches to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Return to the pot, reheat to serving temperature, and season with salt.
-Divide the soup among warmed bowls and garnish each portion with some of the walnuts, if using. Serve immediately.
Toasted Spice Rub:
1/4 cup fennel seeds
1 tablespoon coriander seeds
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1 1/2 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 cup pure California chili powder (about 1-ounce)
2 tablespoons kosher salt
2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
In a small heavy pan over medium heat, combine the fennel seeds, coriander seeds, and peppercorns. When the fennel turns light brown, work quickly. Turn on the exhaust fan, add the red pepper flakes, and toss, toss, toss, always under the fan. [or else you'll burn your lungs off...no joke] Immediately turn the spice mixture out onto a plate to cool. Put in a blender with the chili powder, salt, and cinnamon and blend until the spices are evenly ground. If you have a small spice mill or a coffee grinder dedicated to grinding spices, grind only the fennel, coriander, pepper, and chili flakes. Pour into a bowl and toss with the remaining ingredients.
and as we rode the bus home i thought surely i'd wake up tomorrow just to find that i had dreamt up everything.
to fulfill my love of photography and contrasting textures i organized a lil' photo shoot last week. there are not many things better than playing dress up in the sunshine and goofing off with a camera. part of me will always be a little girl. and since my usual photo-extravaganza sidekicks (kelly & erin) are off in charlotte, i had to enlist the aid of another fun loving friend. thank you megan, for your willing participation, cooperation, and bright spirit. construction workers. wiffle ball. hippie camp...this day totally rocked. [special thanks to the freebox for the totally amazing wardrobe.]
[photos by: audrey mann]
[photos by: megan browning]
[photos by: audrey mann]
[photos by: megan browning]
Friday, June 26, 2009
ed helms loves bluegrass.
i haven't felt much like writing in the past few weeks. the damp sickness in my lungs has sucked all the creativity out of me. leaving me tired and drained. and anxious to get outdoors again. the past weekend was phenomenal though. good music. perfect weather. full strength. i enjoyed my first bluegrass festival. telluride hosts a good party. hippie camp was alive with late night music. after grass shows and late night dance parties at the bars and theater. laying on the lawn soaking up some much needed sunshine. eyes closed. ears open.
david byrne was an unexpected highlight for me. all white clad dancers. perfect voice. tutus. definitely in my top three shows of all time. hands down. emmylou harris, patty griffin, and shawn colvin warmed up the crowd. starting the evening off right. punch brothers on saturday. even as the clouds rolled in and rains poured down in town park the crowd stood firm in their tarp-claimed territory. playing and singing all the classic tunes, the fellas riled the crowd and made promises of a good radiohead cover show on sunday night.
work was mingled in with lounging and dancing. an extra 10,000 people in town adds to the hustle and bustle of main street. the town has transformed and i enjoy the liveliness while it lasts. but look forward to the return of the quiet stream of bicycle traffic instead of the parked cars lining the streets and weaving my way through hoards of people on the sidewalks. does that make me a snob?
random conversation at bluegrass:
friend: did you see the hangover?
me: do i have a hangover?
friend: no. the movie. the hangover. with that guy. the one from the office.
me: no i haven't seen it but everyone says it's hilarious.
friend: so you know that guy? andy? from the office?
me: yeah, why?
friend: that guy over there looks just like him. (pointing to the tarp behind us)
me: (leaning very obviously to get a better look) that's because it is him. andy loves bluegrass!
instead of rambling on about what i've been up to, i'll just show you. [no photos where taken with ed helms because we were too chicken to ask him.]
david byrne was an unexpected highlight for me. all white clad dancers. perfect voice. tutus. definitely in my top three shows of all time. hands down. emmylou harris, patty griffin, and shawn colvin warmed up the crowd. starting the evening off right. punch brothers on saturday. even as the clouds rolled in and rains poured down in town park the crowd stood firm in their tarp-claimed territory. playing and singing all the classic tunes, the fellas riled the crowd and made promises of a good radiohead cover show on sunday night.
work was mingled in with lounging and dancing. an extra 10,000 people in town adds to the hustle and bustle of main street. the town has transformed and i enjoy the liveliness while it lasts. but look forward to the return of the quiet stream of bicycle traffic instead of the parked cars lining the streets and weaving my way through hoards of people on the sidewalks. does that make me a snob?
random conversation at bluegrass:
friend: did you see the hangover?
me: do i have a hangover?
friend: no. the movie. the hangover. with that guy. the one from the office.
me: no i haven't seen it but everyone says it's hilarious.
friend: so you know that guy? andy? from the office?
me: yeah, why?
friend: that guy over there looks just like him. (pointing to the tarp behind us)
me: (leaning very obviously to get a better look) that's because it is him. andy loves bluegrass!
instead of rambling on about what i've been up to, i'll just show you. [no photos where taken with ed helms because we were too chicken to ask him.]
Thursday, June 11, 2009
there's so much more than empty conversations filled with empty words.
[this is what today sounds like.]
into the flood - as tall as lions
the boy who blocked his own shot - brand new
one more with feeling - get cape. wear cape. fly.
pulling on a line - great lake swimmers
curs in weeds - horse feathers
gravity rides everything - modest mouse
into the flood - as tall as lions
the boy who blocked his own shot - brand new
one more with feeling - get cape. wear cape. fly.
pulling on a line - great lake swimmers
curs in weeds - horse feathers
gravity rides everything - modest mouse
impressive. beyond impressive. you'll see.
mountainfilm. in telluride. celebrating indomitable spirit.strings of prayer flags billow in the cool morning breeze. "om tare tu tare ture soha." snow shrouds the mountain tops. white tips lose their way in the settling fog. the canyon air is cool and damp. a perfect weekend for movies...
in a town of 2,200 you start to feel like you know everyone. and if that town is telluride, colorado, everyone is someone. i am continuously blown away by the creative and adventurous minds and bodies that inhabit these canyon walls. the individual stories could keep me entertained for hours on end. these people know how to live. they love life. it's inspiring. and inviting. undaunted by this form of celebrity. these people move through the crowds unnoticed. their passion and work are the reason they are here. artists. adventurers. filmmakers. the passion and work that is our great privilege to enjoy. during this three day festival filmmakers and artists from across the globe, gather in our tiny town to "[educate and inspire] audiences about issues that matter, cultures worth exploring, environments worth preserving, and conversations worth sustaining." screenings, question and answer sessions, breakfast talks, symposium, music and picnics. it is seventy two hours of adrenaline and heart wrenching. asking the hard questions. offering revolutionary answers. creating a powerful sense of community. urging you to ask yourself what you can do to make a difference. and then challenging you to proceed. action = answers. after a weekend of interacting with artists (aaron huey - cole rise), entrepreneurs (skip yowell), cultural activists (andy bichlbaum) and adventures (jim whittaker) i am left with one question: now what? that sense of urgency. the need to make a difference. make a contribution. make your small existence mean something in the bigger picture. it's possible.
mountainfilm. in telluride. i went expecting adventure and adrenaline. i left with purpose and inspiration. see for yourself.
was it me i need to be.
the rain is coming down outside. one day after another. blue skies break clouds momentarily. until another frosty breeze causes you to clutch at the collar of your coat. drawing it closed. holding it close. snow in june. who knew? i love it though. because of the layered clothes. the lack of humidity. a strange new summer sensation. as soon as i conquer this damp encouraged cold i will conquer that problem in illium valley. sit start. launch. hips close. pull my self up. sarah got me hooked. and i'm about to go mad cooped up in this house. sick for two and a half weeks. that is torture in telluride. adventure waits right outside my door and i am quarantined in my room. coughing fits and hearing loss. hurry antibiotics. rescue me from these confining walls. i want mountains and rivers and wildflowers. not another episode of house on hulu or haunting videos from a life i almost lived. quit torturing myself and get outside. get well. get it together.
do something with my life.
do something with my life.
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