there are no mistakes. there's what we do. and what we don't do.

never in my life have i been in a situation to decide between two jobs. "do what's best for you," offered my good friend when i questioned what to chose. i don't know what that means, entirely. what if i make the wrong decision? does that even exist? i am torn between a position at the hotel which will provide status and experience and a dependable income. but at the expense of early and long hours and an inflexible schedule. i can already feel myself dripping with jealousy and resentment as all my friends gather for dinners and concerts and ultimate frisbee...and i am tucked away in mountain village. or i could find myself behind the bar at brown dog. the restaurant that i left this winter. i am forcing them to make a decision as to whether or not they will offer me more than the lowly server's position. a better wage and a four day week makes me want to settle back in at BDP. the flexible schedule and free access to festivals makes this summer sound promising and exciting. but will i feel like a failure. for stepping down the ladder? is that even a valid concern? i came here for community. i came here for adventure. fulfilling demands for omlettes and cappucinos doesn't seem very adventurous.

i need money. but i feel the richest when my heart is satisfied.

all my life i've been searching for something. something i can put my finger on.

i have been trying to capture the proper words to describe my adventures east. the city tour twenty-ten. but nothing seems to properly encompass the feelings i felt while sitting across the table from some of my favorite people. sharing meals and conversations. walks through parks and rooftop sunsets. i am so grateful for these moments. and i carry them with me even at this present moment.

brianna and i are never in the same city. but i love her to little bity pieces. hey friend, i hope you are stalking me! because i love that we share our lives so intimately and openly. i love your heart and your spirit. and i hope someday we can make dinner parties a weekly event!

cuddling with erin. or not. since the pillow barrier made the point quite clear :) dinners at the nut. hanging with the family. planning adventures. sharing our hearts. i miss my sis.

wedding fun. lunch at the biscuit. helping my sister, lauren, move into her new life. it's amazing to be this comfortable with someone. to pick them out as "mine" and have them pick me too. I knew we would be friends. i love that we are family.

bonding at the dog parks. filing each other in on the past year. and the comfortable feeling like i just saw katie last week. colorado adventures. big risks. love this girl.

sitting next to alex, i am reminded of what a wonderful man he is. being drawn into those endless conversations. reminds me of what i should be looking for. grateful for what we had. a year gone by and it seems like yesterday. telluridian magic.

the sound of sarah's voice echoing "audie" as the elevator doors opened to reveal my long lost friend. a wound healed. my heart is happy.

finding sameness in johanna's life. laughing at the thirteen years of distance and the remarkable similarities in our stories. and her cleaning pep talk: gotta make it clean like audrey's bedroom. all these years and that has stuck with her. too funny.

blackened soles. charcoal aromas. grilled tofu made especially for me. jam's curls and adorable style. and the way she always asks questions about you. i miss my roommate. our beach days on the front lawn. what a warm spirit.

i knew i was going to know kyle for a long time. but sitting in a living room in denver, drinking beers, and watching him and mike play rock band with friends is a welcomed surprise. things always end up better than i ever could have planned.

i already miss you all. and hope to see you very soon, indeed.

Every day counts. One night matters.

i have had some down time lately. no one is in town. i am currently unemployed. and it has snowed the past three days. yes, in may. so i have been catching up on hulu. glee. house. and to my most delightful of surprises...Friday Night Lights. This phenomenal show has returned to NBC from the depths of Direct TV just in time to entertain my chilled and lonely little body. I am super excited to get back in the swing of things in Telluride and ready for all my friends to return from their respective hajj. but in the mean time i will curl up in my awesome new bedroom with a hot cup of tea and matt saracen. Yeehaw!


Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose.

somewhere in middle america.

nebraska at dusk makes me homesick. long stretch of road between me and colorado. sixteen hours inside my head. i'm lonely. i want a hug. i miss nick. i am pathetic. damn state. you and your stupid corn.

it was this thing that happened today. other things will happen other days. things will happen tomorrow.

So, I got my mom hooked on drugs...technically just a show ABOUT drugs. marijuana, to be precise. Which is funny, if you know my mom. I managed to convince her to try one episode of "Weeds." Four episodes later she was a "junky." i hope she knows that Weeds is the gateway show to a much more serious Showtime addiction. Bring on Californication and The Tudors.

pick a day. enjoy it - to the hilt.